I met a guy in a room full of unknown people and I was glad that I would not be dealing with fidgeting at that moment. I had noticed him the first time I walked into the room. He was smiling like a little boy, his gums and teeth showing. He had that cheerful air with him and he was glowing (a weird adjective that I should not use to describe a guy but what the hell, I really thought that he was sunshine-y that time). Being the shy kid I was, I resulted to glancing - yes, I felt like I was a stalker - and pretending to look like a poor little puppy, a stunt which I learned - just recently, after almost a year - I pulled off quite successfully.
To be honest, most guys I liked are usually shy-looking, gentlemanly and softspoken. He is but the opposite: loud, all-smiles etc. So it really was a wonder as to why he had that effect on me. That kind of effect that sends me off the edge, making me feel self-conscious even just for a moment. When I left the room, I asked a close friend of mine what his name was and she did.
I was happy.
Though it was not until January that I knew what his full name was. I stalked him. Gave up two weeks later, however. Because I really don't know where to start.
March. I received news of me passing this university. I cried but then, I laughably remembered him. I browsed through the list of passers and stupidly looked for his name.
His name was there. Together with the Ms, Ns, Os, Ps, Qs, Rs and S-es.
And then I laughed.
"we were going to be schoolmates, hopefully," I mouthed to one of my closest friends in school. And I was still stupidly blinking my tears away as I smiled.
He really became my schoolmate.
I got to know him. Though definitely not all of him, but still, I am no longer the invisible girl who just tries to stalk him on Facebook.
sometimes, I hate him for his actions, get pissed off by him and get irritated. As a result, I have been having talks with my roomies and my friends, telling them that I think I want to move on - or AM moving on.
Neither believe.
Nor do I.
I see him quite frequently, though not on a daily basis.
I've been trying to decipher his actions as he talks to me and the feeling was - or is - never mutual, I guess. I don't try to assume then. People get hurt just by assuming.
But as days pass by, I think I'm growing more attached.
And these talks of moving on would grow less and would probably become nonexistent in a few months' time.
